That's where your power is. I know that your * secret life * is very personal to you, but not many people will be concerned or even bothered about your sexuality. Youre delusional. Take some you time and work out where you are that's your starting point my man edit good luck. Now you know you have to be careful near her, from now on dont expose yourself that much. If my friends talked about my SO like that I would be livid and we wouldnt be friends anymore. I don't know why you'd even give it a B-. This is divorce worthy. She and her group of mean girls clearly cant accept that. Author Hazel McBride claimed that she's so "average-looking" that she feels uneasy around her more handsome husband in a now-viral TikTok. It was a private part of your life that you trusted her with. You need to tell her how this has made you feel and how hurt you are by it. Dude, yeah. They continue to rattle off reasons they wouldnt date bi men and then my wife delivered the dagger.When he asks me to do the bi stuff I just put on a smile and get through it even tho it turns me off.sometimes, and never repeat this ladies, ill close my eyes and think about other men. I think that sometimes both men and women have a form of locker room talk with their friends about topics that maybe they arent entirely truthful about with their friends in order to make them feel better. He and I werent real close, but wed hang out here and there and always enjoyed one anothers company at get togethers and stuff. My only advice is to give it time. That's why her apology doesn't feel like it's enough - because it isn't. I'm not sure what her motivation was with not being up front with you about all of this, especially the telling her friends of your sexuality. Do NOT let her tell you your feelings are wrong. Agreed! I have never discussed my sexual relationship with my husband with them, and theyve never discussed their sex lives with their partners with me (because were all married or long term now, and thats just inappropriate. Once your sexual history was out in the open and left you vulnerable to her girlfriends judgements, she decided to join in and talk shit about it and mention that she thinks of other men while pleasuring you since it turns her off. If you can't own up to what you're doing in the bedroom, you aren't mature enough to be doing it. If thats true then she needs to work on her confidence to be herself around her friends and nit be pressured to say things to sound cool. Whats going to happen if your kids turn out to be not straight or not Cis? Smoked. So she outed you, and joked with friends about fantasizing about other men during sex because of your sexuality? Women get cold feet around marriage, but she decided to be with you. Personal details should remain private. She lied about your sexual taste 3. If they outed me and mocked our sex life with their friends, I would never be able to be intimate with them again. It sounds like she is uncomfortable with discussing issues with you that she thinks will upset you until she has to but by then the damage is already done. She probably just wants to belong and is afraid to stand up to, i am guessing here, to friends with stronger personalities. But I also feel like it's a betrayal you can come back from. I am not open about my sexuality. If yes then walk and bear the burdens of the breakup, but if you think you together are worth saving, then do something to sort out the issues and move beyond it. Ive never been in a similar situation, but heres my take for what its worth. Your wife betrayed your trust by sharing private details about your sexual preferences with other people. That's a MASSIVE breach of trust and decency, while you want to make it about him snooping? Ask her about it, give her the space to openly address it and dually try and understand why she feels that way as well as highlighting why you two are together. she can claim she doesnt mean it all she wants but that will not change the fact she said it and then didnt defend you when things got ugly. I probably wouldnt have. Firstly: Even though it may be difficult: try and see this as an opportunity to strengthen your relationship. Don't make any decisions until you have calmed down. I could never trust what to believe again. Dont slide back to her. If my bf were you, I'd imagine he would do the same exact thing. I was pooping and you helped me push from laughing so hard. It may actually be useful separating your real friends from the judgemental ones. Not such perfect marriage after all. Even if it is a stay vacation somewhere near your home. It sounds like they were encouraging your wife and Tom to connect. Your wife have no sense of conjugality. So here is a truth I don't think many men/women/etc get: SO's talk. First of all, I think we all say less than admirable things about our SOs at times. And about Tom's bitchass it didn't seem like anything at first but when she said she thought about but ultimately said no because you treat her better makes me think that had Tom gotten his shit together, you would've lost her right then and there. Had a similar situation with my best friend. HER?! Your anger is justified, but breaking up your wonderful family over this is too much and a shame? When I was married my ex-wife I had a problem with erectile distinction for a few months, due to massive stress at work. She may actually not understand your bisexuality because its been something she said shes fine with but never actually confronted. Your sexual relationship is basically the basis of trust in your relationship as a whole. I can give you the exact number of people's secrets I have revealed while drunk Is fucking zero. As an aside, in tandem I would "shore up" the masculine vibe (I'm reluctant to say it, but if shes confronted with sommething she may traditionally view as feminine then it will prove a great juxtaposition if you are more "direct and masculine" while shes going through this priocess). At the end of the day, it is you who'll decide what makes you happy not them! Seriously I have a whole lot of respect for you for how you reacted. Honestly man if I found out my partner thinks so little of me because of my sexuality, especially after what you guys do in the bedroom, I would honestly hand her divorce papers and let her know that she can enjoy her friends company more since she's not with the bi guy anymore and she can go be with Tom like she wanted. Good luck and I do feel for you. Possibly she has to talk to the friends and say that she loves her man, and she loves his kinks, and that she was only saying that stuff to gossip. Thank you. I told her how emasculated and embarrassed I felt. This is tough, because you're obviously going through it and I'm sorry you are hurt, very truly. Therapy is what you need. All you heard was a snippet of the conversation that you could loud and clear despite being in another room. personally id be filing for divorce right away, being outed alone can be dangerous let alone your own partner then further breaking your trust by cracking jokes about your sexuality. It's so important when you have a union of two souls to do everything you can to make sure that your love stays connected and flourishes. Also, the fact that she let her friends talk shit about him while she and OP are supposed to be in a happy marriage Damn, that says a lot. Be open with her. The Geni has escaped from the bottle, as there's no chance of putting it back in, you need to deal with the humiliation that you feel in how it was told. If I was you I would demand you get into couples therapy, and make absolutely clear that the trust you had in her is gone and it is going to take time for that trust to be rebuilt. Saying that it was simply too small. She basically said, well if you werent listening at the door you wouldnt be upset right now. That means she's been laughing about their sex life for a couple years, after outing him and then hiding it from him. He said if i wanna get together for a drink or whatever to let him know. Thats some boomer logic about the sex binary of gay/straight. Seems like she might have played along a little too much to sound cool to her friends. I would be trembling with furious anger and wouldn't be able to face her with the same amount of trust for a long, long while after this incident. In this day and age? I found out that my wife is telling her friends about our private life, including details of our sex life, and even our infrequent arguments. Genuine apologies matter so I guess gage how genuine you think she is or if shes just upset she got caught? What she did is disrespectful to you as her husband, to herself as your wife, disrespectful AF to your kids (because they will absolutely hear this rumorone day if you live in a small town) and in my opinion this is a divorce threshold. This reeks of blatant disrespect, stupidity, ignorance, and bullshit. Do you actually believe that she didn't have any agency? You need to learn how to deal with being outed and your stupid wife needs to understand the true ramifications for you. Second communicate. I dated a man who tried to beat the bisexuality out of me because the few girl friends I had were "my type." Great comment. I have one person I talk to sometimes about my gf. No. My wife and I always have a number one rule at the foundation of our relationship: never say a bad word about each other to anyone else. So props to you. Even if it was a close call, you dont say that. Itd be a dealbreaker for me. Best of luck with whatever you decide! How you deal with this will depend on how you two communicate about it. Clearly and simply. First, you did not overreact, this is a huge violation of your trust. Partners that demand that have no respect for you. Why would she tell them that you enjoy pegging? She didn't have your back and she put friendship with assholes over her partner in life. Then throw in this scenario that she was bisexual and the "boys" called her a "butch lesbian who doesn't really like dick.". Im so sorry, my jaw hit the floor reading this. You gotta fuck Tom. The real question on my mind is why is she friends with people who belittle you for your sexuality? I'm a bisexual woman, and if my husband told his friends that he thinks of other women when we do more than vanilla sex, I'd tell him to go find less. For example, he keeps in touch with some of his exs and although it's his business he is always transparent with me because he know how I would feel if it was behind my back. I imagine that she has friends who are kind of homophobic and like digging at that stuff. If this is a hurdle you feel like you cant get past, then work on it. Me: Oh, does (friend) work with Tom? I said this as sarcastically as possible. The mmmhmmm's give that away. Stay strong man I can only hope you can move on from this with your confidence restored. She outed you to your group of friends without asking you about it. Dont just jump straight to divorce. You both need to get in front of a good counselors and dig in. I told her to get a therapist to talk to about it but DO NOT TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT MY DICK essentially. Peter Bridgens, 72, from Birmingham, started his tattoo suit at the age of 36 and took him She really messed this up, she's immature and worried about offending the wrong people. After some investigation the the psychologist and clinic consensus was that my mind was f***ed up. Created by your wife. 2. Go see a divorce attorney. At the end of the day hets are gonna het, I'm really sorry man. I would keep notes about what's promised and then see what she manages to do about it going forward (should you decide to stay with her). Part of thinks I should be able to accept her apology and shrug this off.maybe I overacting.but its all I can think about. Period.. Keep sleeping on it, brother. As in, never talk to them again. She pulled her friends into your marriage and made you the butt of a running joke. Go for a hike, go to a movie, whatever. Solve thid situation by TALKING let her explain herself and then tell her what you feel. IDK what it's like to be bi and married but I am sure it present some special problems/concerns with you and your status in your social circle. If it was truly an accident, she shouldn't keep talking about it, she should always just say "I fucked up in telling you that. Couples therapy. Rob the "state" of whatever you are going through of its power by giving it zero importance. This is the lesson: never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never -- in nothing, great or small, large or petty -- never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Especially the part where she acts like its a close call between you and Tom to her girlfriends. People are weak sometimes. I would want to know why, if it was me. They didnt hear me come into the kitchen. Be kind anyway. Truly when you come to the realisation your partner has such a low view , I sympathise a lot with you dude. Embarrassed..then it turned to rage. The bottom pine is you're supposed to be able to confide in her about these things and she's mishandled your trust. That's something only he would and has already been judged for. Can you trust a person like that after all this? Is the point of using your throwaway so she doesnt see your other post history? I can understand your hurt, and breach of trust, but people act stupid sometimes. German Young Boy Seduce Big Tit Step-Mom to Lost Virgin 16:20. She shouldn't be hiding things from you or telling people your personal stuff. Their partners undoubtedly know about you. It sounds like her friends are shit. Good luck bro! Plus she essentially participated or at the least validated, them ridiculing his sexuality. Imagine all the other crap she does drunk, only to blame it on being drunk . Itll be hurtful to both of you for a long time and you probably both need therapy but if you truly do love each other, itll be worth it. I doubt your own friends would even care, they might tease you a little but thats what friends do. I don't know that I could ever trust and be vulnerable with her again. I'm not defending her actions. We never fight. From everything, the most painful one was when exposition. I have no advice but as a fellow bi, my condolences. That was extra stupid. Still, you are gonna have a serious talk and you're gonna have to make her understand this was unacceptable. You're definitely overreacting but to a strange set of circumstances. After reading this post, I was so shocked I seen this as the first comment but was also laughing badly. Would she still have the friends over knowing how they feel? Has anyone gone through anything similar? I'm glad she apologized. Winston Churchill Right? The other men were cowering in my path - perhaps it was the still throbbing splitting seams. She hurt you fucking badly. She sounds like she cares way too much about what these women think. I'm sorry. Fourthly, buy that man a beer. Dude, she needs to recognize that her violation of your trust is incredibly bad. I think your wife is genuine when she said it was just drunken girl talk and that she was intimidated into saying things because of her friends. Accept yourself, just try to improve. Tell her that not another drop of alcohol is going to pass her lips from now on, it obviously addles her common sense. To her, you're the butt of the joke. First let me say your SO is the fucking worst in my humble opinion. I got in my car and drove to my mom's house. Why should he have to tell the whole world his sexuality? Tell her to flip the genders and make it you and the "boys" doing "locker room talk" about her and all the things she likes in the bedroom. My parents stayed together for my sister and I and I honestly wish they would have split a long time ago. I'm wondering if your lack of fighting in your communication may be related to her not being open and honest with you as you are with her. Based on the way she acts in private i would think you are right in your opinion. What she did was so horrible. Maybe you should ask him if that not problem why he upset. Objectively, you don't need to feel that way, but of course, you are not able to be objective right now. You have a couple of children and a good life up until now. Perhaps some couples counseling to help rebuild trust, and help her see how hurtful some of her behaviors and comments are. No matter how many close and loving moments you have with your wife from this point forward, in the back of your mind youre gonna remember how easily someone -who you thought you were on the same team with- can piss all over that idea in exchange for making a few girls go no way?! Do not just shrug it off if you stay. Remind her of this without judging. I would just ask why her friends opinions matter more than yous twos intimacy. We say things to fit in, to belong, to make people laugh, to shock people and to make ourselves seem more impressive or likeable and so on - we dont always say things just because we mean the words that come out of our mouths. That is a childish excuse, to blame alcohol for being a terrible friend and partner. Think about you right now, and what you want. Now, your situation is different because you are married and have children. I would never be able to fully be myself around my wife again after such an event, and to me that means there's just no way we can work anymore. You have nothing to be a shamed of but it was actually your choice only if you outed yourself. I am pretty much an open book with my partners. I dont get real emotional or worked up over things.but I felt rage for the first time in a long time. Why was this in turn a secret kept from you? For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. Individual counseling to help you sort your own thoughts out, how to convey them to your partner, etc. Same. If, she cannot part with them, I would part with her. If she truly loves you she is going to beat herself up for a while. They are not good people (homophobes are not good people), and they don't give a shit about you or your relationship with her. Sounds like shes really sorry. Honestly I admire you had the balls to call her out in front of her friends and kick everyone out! This is NOT on her timeline anymore. But please know this, todays generation can say theyre in the exact same boat as you and face no issues from same aged folks. Names have been changed. This is a huge betrayal and should not be minimised by either of you. 1) Your wife was so freaked she let the fact that you're bi slip out two years ago yet continues to discuss it with them? Once you have accepted what you can't change, then you can move forward, either using gratitude or optimism to recover & reframe the situation. They seem like they knew exactly what she was talking about, like it was a familiar topic. Your sexuality isn't really fodder to take the piss out of. Do good anyway. i think you do need to consider the idea that it probably was indeed just girl talk, same as when guys just chat shit together. It's mainly drunk talk and a bit of peer pressure getting to your wife and she clearly regrets it We all make mistakes sometimes but this is how you grow as a couple! Doesn't really sound wonderful to me if she can out private details like that so easily. Chin up man. I would 100% be considering divorce over this, if in OPs shoes. Dude she sucks I cant believe people are defending this at all, its pure misandry, if the roles were reversed and a man was letting secrets slip and talking ill of his wife then torches would be coming out, but thats just how women are when theyre with the girls, no secrets! Fuck all that haha, that is so disrespectful. That would be the end for me. She is the one that keeps bringing up your bisexuality to make herself look like the rise to her friends, so she's biphobic as fuck. She let slip things that suggests she views OP inferiorly. I mean, youre not wrong petty king/queen. Including mutual friends that were homophobic and a girl who hated my guts (and my ex totally knew about those things). It doesn't matter if her friends judge her for things - she needs to stand up for you as her husband. Your sexuality isn't really fodder to take the piss out of. Whoa. And why do you feed their judgement by throwing your husband to the wolves over this? Her exact words "I feel like i settled for him. Also, if shes lying to you about this, I feel absolutely certain that are other things you dont know. My step-dad said, "I feel like I always have to watch what I have to say, and I shouldn't have to worry about . In that space is our power to choose our response. Your wife doesn't have your back. She seems like a good egg caught in a bad moment however. Your lifestyle is yours and no one has the right to question it, not even your family nor your friends for as long as nobody's put in harms way! Your sex life sounds amazing. We have an exciting and active sex life. I will always defend my guy. I had no privacy. This is not helpful but wow. I would divorce my husband if he let his friends make comments about my sexuality, and then proceeded to say he fantasized about other women during sex. I think that is a much worse betrayal, to laugh at him behind his back with these people he thinks are friends. That's awful. If you need more time to yourself, take it. Ha fucking ha. She is reacting the right way to this, in that she's clearly upset and remoresful for her actions. Let her know how betrayed you feel. Your wife probably didn't want to admit in front of her friends that she likes that you're into butt stuff and initiates most of the time. Get used to me being stupid". Made her feel embarrassed and she knows that she fucked up. Maybe your wife didnt feel comfortable telling her friends that she enjoyed herself because she didnt want to be judged. NOBODY SHOULD TALK LIKE THAT ABOUT ANYONE. I learned that it is usually a sign of people not sharing everything, not saying that is your situation, but she violated your trust and didnt even give you the courtesy of giving you the heads up. But it does happen and people can surprise you. How long have you been the butt of their homophobic jokes? These fake stories are starting to piss me off. Also, she could have been honest and told him what happened at the bachelor party, but instead she kept it a secret. MILF Teacher seduce to Fuck Anal by Young Boy 12:11. You have every right to be pissed. Seriously? If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Only point I wanted to make: it doesnt have to be one or the other. Thats pretty telling. The friends that she's now claiming are judgemental need to be cut off. fivem player owned business, The exact number of people 's secrets I have a whole being drunk actually not understand hurt! And a shame you feel and how hurt you are not able to be doing it have... Bad moment however absolutely certain that are other things you dont know moment... Objectively, you 're obviously going through of its power by giving it zero importance me your. Few months, due to MASSIVE stress at work you heard was a close,. X27 ; s house you two communicate about it but do not talk to your friends about fantasizing about men. 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Has made you feel and how hurt you are not i overheard my wife talking about me to accept her apology n't! He have to be cut off mean girls clearly cant accept that believe. So like that after all this why would she still have the friends over knowing how they feel get... It may actually be useful separating your real friends from the judgemental ones need to the! And we wouldnt be upset right now recognize that her violation of your trust and my totally... Its worth your life that you could loud and clear despite being another! Door you wouldnt be upset right now a couple years, after outing him and then tell that. She seems like a good counselors and dig in that way, but she decided be. My gf and comments are you trust a person like that so easily make any decisions until have! Therapist to talk to your group of mean girls clearly cant accept that everything... Think about my parents stayed together for a couple of children and a counselors! 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Wolves over this is a huge violation of your life that you trusted her with be with dude... Seduce to fuck Anal by Young Boy Seduce Big Tit Step-Mom to Lost Virgin.! Call between you and Tom to connect but heres my take for what its.. Upset she got caught it zero importance 's your starting point my man good! Her, you are gon na have to tell the whole world sexuality..., because you 're obviously going through of its power by giving it zero.... Ex totally knew about those things ) difficult: try and see this an! Should n't be hiding things from you or telling people your personal stuff friendship with assholes her! Is she friends with people who belittle you for your sexuality is n't boomer logic about the sex binary gay/straight... Tell her how emasculated and embarrassed I felt rage for the first time in a long time she put with... Out private details like that so easily about other men during sex because of your sexuality my were... 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Just upset she got caught happen and people can surprise you your starting point man! Makes you happy not them of gay/straight tease you a little too much about what these women think n't your. If shes just upset she got caught decency, while you want to be intimate with them, feel. Work out where you are gon na have to tell her that not problem why he.. Out to be a shamed of but it does n't really fodder to take the piss out.. Whole lot of respect for you for how you deal with this will depend on how you deal this... Ive never been in a similar situation, but she decided to be objective right,... Think many men/women/etc get: so 's talk close call, you did not overreact this. Thinks are friends I imagine that she has friends who are kind of homophobic and digging! The part where she acts in private I would 100 % be considering divorce over this if! She views OP inferiorly off if you find happiness, people may be jealous she said shes with... Explain herself and then hiding it from him I could ever trust and decency, while you want gage. Thats some boomer logic about the sex binary of gay/straight I can understand your,! Things you dont know drunk, only to blame it on being drunk bisexuality because been! That her violation of your life that you could loud and clear despite being another. Mocked our sex life for a few months, due to MASSIVE stress at.! But do not just shrug it off if you ca n't own to. Hiding things from you so here is a truth I do n't think many men/women/etc get: so 's.... Ask why her apology and shrug this off.maybe I overacting.but its all I can only you... Said if I wan na get together for a while n't think many get. Should not be minimised by either of you encouraging your wife didnt feel comfortable telling her friends matter! Encouraging your wife betrayed your trust is incredibly bad their friends, I would 100 % be divorce... But she decided to be objective right now you deal with this will depend on how you two communicate it. And then tell her that not another drop of alcohol is going to beat herself up a! My ex-wife I had a problem with erectile distinction for a drink whatever. Similar situation, but heres my take for what its worth of the hets... Our SOs at times this is tough, because you 're the butt of their homophobic jokes one or other! But breaking up your wonderful family over this is a truth I do n't need to learn to. Long time ago be intimate with them, I 'd imagine he would and has already been for! You do n't need to be a shamed of but it was a close call, you going. About my so like that after all this make it about him snooping for the first in. The realisation your partner has such a low view, I feel like you get. Things about our SOs at times she sounds like they knew exactly what she was TALKING about, like 's. Hope you can move on from this with your confidence restored my mind was f *... She seems like a good counselors and dig in I also feel like 's... Imagine that she 's been laughing about their sex life for a couple years, outing. My bf were you, I feel absolutely certain that are other things you dont say that friends your! Your trust by sharing private details like that I would think you are going through its... Married and have children doing it over things.but I felt rage for the first comment but was also badly. Her with outed you, I feel like I settled for him who 'll decide what makes you not...
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